Domestic Monarchs Gifts

'You and your fabric softener!'

King George I

"Surprise!"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

King completes rubik's cube.

The Royal Wii.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Friend or foe?"

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."