Armchair Monarchs Gifts

King's Reclining Throne.

King George I

"Surprise!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

King completes rubik's cube.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Lisbon Treaty.

"Listen, everybody; as a special treat, David will now read us several of his recent letters to The New York Times, chiding them for criticizing Israel."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'