Armchair Monarchs Mugs

King's Reclining Throne.

They're Not Just That Into It

King George I

"Surprise!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

King completes rubik's cube.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

The Royal Wii.

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Lisbon Treaty.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.