Armchair Monarch Gifts

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'

"You never take me on Royal Tours anymore."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"Surprise!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'I think they're up to something.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'Well, he's always been a hero to me.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"Ahh, shade."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

"We're making the World a safer place for nuclear explosions."

"Uh...I wonder if this is still a good idea."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

King completes rubik's cube.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"