Royal T-Shirts

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Football Royalty

'Why, thanks -- long live YOU, too!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

BEING KING IS A TAXING PROFESSION!

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

TV jester.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Czarcasm

'The Burrito King.'