Routine Philosopher Gifts

The instructions for my life are very simple: "Gather, rinse, repeat."

'Just habit. Before he got here he spent three years under house arrest.'

After Gus and Deke had escaped from reality, it took them a long time to adjust.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"You keep impeccable time."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Daily Routine

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

"I've figured out why my life is boring."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

"Is this a good time to bring up a car problem?"

Clock in, Clock out.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"He misses his commute ."

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

"Synchronized sitting"

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

Teddy! Time for dinner!! I'm doing an essay on values. I need examples of oppressive values that hold people down. Sit! This hour is non-negotiable. Got it! Family values!

'Come home, Fred. It's Sunday.'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'