Routine Contemplator T-Shirts

"Boy, time sure flies when every day is joyless and exactly the same."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'We may think 2012 is over, but history books are full of things we thought were over.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'What did we do before green tea?'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

Prayers For Agnostics

'You know there were 7,184 waves yesterday. That's just slightly more than usual. I think that's one of my favorite things about island life, there's always a surprise round the corner. What's your favorite thing, Ed?'

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect it to speak to you."

'Sarah and her all-day muffin'

Death is just a side-effect of living.

In Isolation

A man on a beach watches an autumn leaf land on him.

The Master Switch

'I'll just have time to finish the yard before the next bombing run begins.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

"Well, Mr. Dog Eat Dog, did you eat a dog today or did a dog eat you?"