Retirement Contemplator T-Shirts

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Professional woman in pub

"1971... 2015..."

Tonight's Lecture: Globalization. I've never worried about my job going overseas --- None of my jobs ever went anywhere.

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

'I am not my job... my job is not me... I do not need my job to give my life a purpose...' 'Hey, did you hear the news? We're all laid off!' 'Stupid affirmations!'

"I feel I blend in well with the holes in my career ladder."

Wolf Watching the Sunset

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

The curse of Alzheimer's hits home for old aluminium atoms.

I don't see a future for me in my present job. They don't reward mediocrity.

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

"Oh, to be a Mayfly."

A long way towards retirement...

'All my life I've made the wrong choices. When opportunity knocked, I bolted the door.'

"I'm at that sweet spot in my career...right between 'young and underpaid' and 'old and too expensive.'"

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, Axel. Is that the good news or the bad news?

Middle-Of-Life Choices

'One day I'll stop to reflect on my career and marvel that I have time to reflect.'

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?