Simple Life Contemplator T-Shirts

'What did we do before green tea?'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Differing thoughts of male and female.

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

Metaphors.

A bear reads 'Eat Poop Sleep' on the beach

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"It's great to finally be away from the city!"

'Cast off your material things...live the simple life...that will be 200 bucks.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I like how you keep things simple."

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

Hillbilly.

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Minimalist Japanese junk shop

"What is this endless series of meaningless experiences trying to teach me?"

"It was a day like any other, so I guess I'll have the usual."

"You know, I'm happy in my world of low expectations."

Prayers For Agnostics

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

"In the old days, being a sheep-dog was easy Son: Now, I have to do a roll-call twice a day and fill in timesheets..."

Death is just a side-effect of living.