Quiet Life Contemplator T-Shirts

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"You've been served."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

Computer with moon screensaver

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

It was so quiet in town the residents took to taking chairs to the corner so they could watch the traffic lights change.

'What did we do before green tea?'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

The John Cage Carollers

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

'Pardon the mess. We just moved in.'

Prayers For Agnostics

"I'm all for the quiet life but she keeps rattling on all day long."

Another sleepy one town horse.

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'Ahhhh...It's such a beautiful morning outside...the sun is shining...the birds are singing....'

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Introverts Anonymous

'Anything else you'd like to talk about, but can't - besides the vow of silence?'

Restaurant Tables: Reserved and Extrovert