Quiet Life Contemplator Gifts

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"You've been served."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

Computer with moon screensaver

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, Axel. Is that the good news or the bad news?

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

"Oh, to be a Mayfly."

'What did we do before green tea?'

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

It was so quiet in town the residents took to taking chairs to the corner so they could watch the traffic lights change.

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

The John Cage Carollers

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

'Pardon the mess. We just moved in.'

We only go around once

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

Prayers For Agnostics

"A perfectly working medical alert button! ...But no one ever heard it!"

"I'm all for the quiet life but she keeps rattling on all day long."

Is there anything worse than the aging process? The thing that comes after the aging process.

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'Ahhhh...It's such a beautiful morning outside...the sun is shining...the birds are singing....'

Another sleepy one town horse.

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Introverts Anonymous

'Anything else you'd like to talk about, but can't - besides the vow of silence?'