Silent Contemplator T-Shirts

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Differing thoughts of male and female.

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

Wisdom for dummies

Computer with moon screensaver

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

The John Cage Carollers

'I use the zen-Freudian method. Neither of us says anything for the hour.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'The word from upstairs is that you're in serious danger of excommunication if you don't stop yelling 'Hey, Abbot!''

'Mind you, I make up for it on my husband when I get home.'

'The vasteness of the universe makes me feel so small and insignificant.'

'I know I'm the center of the universe.'

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

The Master Switch

Ask me about my vow of silence.

'-nobody has any manners nowadays,do they!'

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

Introverts Anonymous

Restaurant Tables: Reserved and Extrovert

'You could at least have waited until I put on my make-up!'

'He's a man of few words. He doesn't even use all his Twitter characters.'

Easter Island gaze.

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

'He made a Hole in One, and a thousand dollar bet he could keep quiet about it.'