Silent Contemplator T-Shirts

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Differing thoughts of male and female.

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

Wisdom for dummies

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Computer with moon screensaver

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

The John Cage Carollers

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'I use the zen-Freudian method. Neither of us says anything for the hour.'

'Mind you, I make up for it on my husband when I get home.'

'The word from upstairs is that you're in serious danger of excommunication if you don't stop yelling 'Hey, Abbot!''

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'The vasteness of the universe makes me feel so small and insignificant.'

'I know I'm the center of the universe.'

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

The Master Switch

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

'We may be good eggs, but we're not perfect. We all have a fallen nature.'

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

'-nobody has any manners nowadays,do they!'

Ask me about my vow of silence.

Introverts Anonymous

Restaurant Tables: Reserved and Extrovert

'You could at least have waited until I put on my make-up!'

Easter Island gaze.

'He's a man of few words. He doesn't even use all his Twitter characters.'