Routine Challenger Gifts

The 27-Year-Itch

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Lawnmower

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

The Mainstream

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'Think' 'But not too much'

"I'm looking for loopholes."

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Daily Routine

AI

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'This is a coffee break, Caldwell -- Get rid of that damn teapot!'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'And this is where daddy goes through the motions.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'She does great things with leftovers. . .She throws them out.'

"Always a bridesmaid..."

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

Clock in, Clock out.

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Spring cleaning.