Rookie Watchers Gifts

"His first day as campus police and he just saw too many kids with backpacks and electronic devices in their hands."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

A king and his paperwork.

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

End of football season - UK

Royal Variety

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

Anarchy/Monarchy.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

'We had a full and frank exchange of views.'

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.

'Have a nice summit conference -- don't destabilize anything.'

Cloud Hang

Punk rock Boris Johnson and the Queen

"The World Cup starts in two days! I'm camping out for a good spot."

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS: 'They say I should conquer Switzerland.'

Prince turns into a frog due to a short spell in Britain.

'Bosnia, Serbia, Macedonia, Kosovo, South Ossetia -- Sooner or later, they're going to notice us here in Luxembourg.'

A man stranded in the desert watches a king crawl by on a red carpet

"Same here. It's my first time too."

"Open up for the cleaning crew."

'1858 - Ottawa was chosen by Queen Victoria to be the capital of Canada'