Roofing Enthusiast Gifts

"The really skilled part is getting the customers to pay up within six months"

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

"It's the stock brokerage company again. Some of their investment picks have gone through the roof again."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Bring your own inflatable.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Allotment

Fly Fishing

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"It's such a lovely day!"

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

"Mind the whale, dear."

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

Fishing sign.

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'More bubbles!'

'I found the termites!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

The Brothers Grime

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.