Roof Renovation Enthusiast Gifts

'See! I told you the roof needed repairing.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Umbrella Roof

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"It's the stock brokerage company again. Some of their investment picks have gone through the roof again."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'We wanted to maintain the integrity of the original house.'

Changing house name.