Roof Renovation Enthusiast Gifts

'See! I told you the roof needed repairing.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Umbrella Roof

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"It's the stock brokerage company again. Some of their investment picks have gone through the roof again."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Changing house name.