Romantic Recollector Gifts

"Oh, darling, whatever happens- ever- I know I'm probably always going to remember this as one of my happiest marriages."

"I shall always remember this church for 3 things - aisle, altar, hymn!"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Cosmonaut

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Astronaut love

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if

The Loving Couple

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

Mate Mart

Happy Valentine's Day.

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'For goodness sake, don't struggle. I think this is quicksand.'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

Carbon Dating Agency

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

"I can't wait to see what you're like online."