Retro Reminiscencer Gifts

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'Where Are They Now?'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

'You're always living in the past.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Griller highlights never gets old

'Aaah yes, the stampede of July 1810: Good times...'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

'He's revisiting his childhood.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"It's a fortuitous coincidence that the greatest moments in music history were when I was in high school."

'Remember when we used to catch small fish by the bucket full.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'That one was taken on our wedding day, when he was young, handsome and in love. That other one was taken when he was older, more mature and a pain in the neck.'

'I was just remembering the good old days - I had two of them!'

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

The Old Elves Home

"I once loved a parade."

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."