Romantic Recollector T-Shirts

"Oh, darling, whatever happens- ever- I know I'm probably always going to remember this as one of my happiest marriages."

"I shall always remember this church for 3 things - aisle, altar, hymn!"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Cosmonaut

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Astronaut love

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

The Loving Couple

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Happy Valentine's Day.

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

Mate Mart

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

Carbon Dating Agency

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'For goodness sake, don't struggle. I think this is quicksand.'

"I can't wait to see what you're like online."

"We think it had something to do with love."

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'