Romantic Rebels T-Shirts

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"I can’t help it. I’m drawn to bad boys."

We should talk...

'A table where no one will notice we're having sex.'

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

"...And to love, cherish and occasionally look up from your phones at each other?"

Wedding Wellies

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'No, but thanks for asking,'

After the Sentence

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Lord Byron

Cake Escape

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Heart to heart talk.

The Bare Minimum

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Graffitti.

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

God finger

Leonardo and Galileo get together for an experiment

"If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed? If you tickle it, does it not laugh? If you poison it, does it not die?"

David Cameron and Europe

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line