Romance Rebel T-Shirts

"So that's your final answer."

The Bare Minimum

Spokane County Police Department

"Don't waste your ammo pal, we're just f**k buddies."

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'Let's have a secret wedding - All my friends think I have better taste!'

Heartbreak is a waste of time...

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'I can't marry you, Robert - It would just be too CONVENTIONAL.'

"Baldo, Valentine's Day is all about flowers."

No Strollers Allowed

"When I said it would be sexy if you were more ANIMAL in bed... I was thinking of a tiger!"

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Cake Escape

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

Lord Byron

You're the olive in my martini

Heart to heart talk.

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Dating the efficiency expert.

Graffitti.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'