Romantic Pen Pals Gifts

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Writer's Strike

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

'This is it, I've just heard them: They're selling the flat and are buying a house with a garden!'

"Sweetie, you can’t solve this problem by throwing money at it!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

Droplet with a pencil.

'Don't look right now Carla, but there's a REALLY cute guy in the corner giving you the eye.' A man offering his own eye to a woman.

Postman

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

Convict playing the violin

"I'm worried about Dad, he's got invisible friends"

"Larry, you can't blame everything on the media."

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

Be a pen pal and make someone's day.

'You're lucky: I can't have a penpal 'cause we don't have a fixed address...'

"My dear Charles: I am writing to you in soy ink on recycled paper."

'I do like you Walter, but I don't like your alter ego.'

"We're not friends-she just e-mails me things I'm not interested in."

Prisoners of the Cheyenne accountants.

"Apparently she's your Philippino penfriend come to visit"

'I'm writing to my penfriend - what's French for 'parents', 'old-fashioned' and 'unreasonable'?'

"You are entitled to one call, one fax, or one E-mail."

'Women are so illogical! -- first she says she wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, and then she punches me in the nose!'

'You can expect to get twenty years for this, and I don't mean 'doggie years'!'

Writing a letter

'When you said you wrote to prisoners on death row I thought ou offered spiritual guidance.'

'That's a coincidence, I just got bailed out, too.'

'Sure, you write me, but you never instant-message me.'