Romantic Oddball Pillows

"I'm over here."

"This will be hilarious!"

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'They were all out of roses.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!

'Honey, this is Alonzo

When comedians propose marriage.

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

'I solemnly - whooooaaah - delcare...'

'If my husband comes home, duck out that door. . . He'll never see you.'

Man is walking his dachshund with a Happy Valentines Day balloon tied around dog's belly lifting it off of the sidewalk.

'Okay, so you've proved a point - you really do love me!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'Aagh- are you sure you checked the smell-by date?'

Heart Flasher

'Ralph developed a love potion at the lab, but then the dog drank it.'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"I still can't believe that you've booked a table for two on our anniversary you old romantic!"

Man anchors suspenders to ground as he prepares to jump with girlfriend at lover's leap.

'How did you...never mind...ring the doorbell?'

"You could say that I'm a luck, lucky woman because – he never ever forgets!"