Romantic Humor Appreciates Pillows

Boy on father's knee

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Sexual chemistry set

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"Honk if you love me!"

Tunnel of Like.

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Tongue in the ear...

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'If you really loved me, you'd stay downwind.'

Homophone Encounter

Dating in 2020

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'