Romantic Escapade Guru Gifts

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife, and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Six arms, no waiting.

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

Tunnel of Love, Niagara Falls, NY.

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Not now, Lord!'

'Until you arrived I was thinking of suing my travel agent!'

Fourplay.

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

What classic movie comes to mind when I put my hands on your shoulders? "The Creature from the Black Lagoon."

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

Sometimes you just have to wait for the magic of sea, sex and sand to kick in.

Newly married couple on a magic carpet.