Romantic Escapade Guru T-Shirts

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Six arms, no waiting.

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'Not now, Lord!'

'Until you arrived I was thinking of suing my travel agent!'

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

Fourplay.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

Sometimes you just have to wait for the magic of sea, sex and sand to kick in.

Newly married couple on a magic carpet.

'When, Janice? When did our marriage start to go downhill?'