Romantic Escapade Planners Gifts

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Six arms, no waiting.

Tunnel of Love, Niagara Falls, NY.

How to feel confident in love & war

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

What classic movie comes to mind when I put my hands on your shoulders? "The Creature from the Black Lagoon."

'Not now, Lord!'

Sometimes you just have to wait for the magic of sea, sex and sand to kick in.

'Until you arrived I was thinking of suing my travel agent!'

Fourplay.

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

Newly married couple on a magic carpet.

'When, Janice? When did our marriage start to go downhill?'