Romantic Escapade Planners Pillows

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

How to feel confident in love & war

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Six arms, no waiting.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

Sometimes you just have to wait for the magic of sea, sex and sand to kick in.

'Until you arrived I was thinking of suing my travel agent!'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

'Not now, Lord!'

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

Fourplay.

Newly married couple on a magic carpet.

'When, Janice? When did our marriage start to go downhill?'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"