Rock Star Critic Gifts

Focus Groupies

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The americanisation of vulture.

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Armageddon

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Snow White and her Seven people.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

As Seen Watching TV

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.