Music Industry Critic Gifts

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

A singer being criticised

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

Big oil.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Rescuing the Music Industry.

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

Focus Groupies

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Smashed harp...