Music Industry Critic T-Shirts

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Yeah, a lot of people say I look like Elvis. I think it's my eyes.'

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

A singer being criticised

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

Big oil.

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"

Rescuing the Music Industry.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

Focus Groupies

Simon Cowell

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"