Music Critic Enthusiast Gifts

"Now, this model not only plays fifty records but it changes them, turns them over, and gives you a brief comment on each by Deems Taylor."

No Elgar!

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Filling the Missile Gap

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

The Music Critic.

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

Philip Larkin

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

A singer being criticised

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''