Music Critic Enthusiast Pillows

"Now, this model not only plays fifty records but it changes them, turns them over, and gives you a brief comment on each by Deems Taylor."

No Elgar!

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Filling the Missile Gap

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

The Music Critic.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Real Russian history

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

Philip Larkin

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

A singer being criticised

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.