Music Critique Lover Pillows

'African Idol': A bushman is receiving the judge's opinion which is:' Dat was bad . . . it sound nutting like watta buffeelow!'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

Men dancing

The Music Critic.

A singer being criticised

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"There goes that creepy music again...

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Nutty Assistants

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Smashed harp...