Roadside Comedian T-Shirts

"Pull up past the armadillo."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

Road work next 15 years.

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

Leaving New York

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

This one needs re-booting!

'Yes, Bobby, we are there. In fact, you can jump out any time you like.'

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

"Hey! That JERK you just passed is giving us THE TENTACLE!"

Last chance to breakdown before smart motorway.

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

"I think he's saying keep apart two chevrons."

Botox!

Discussion...1/4 mile. Argument...1/2 mile. Fight...1 mile.

'I've already seen this movie. Can you pull up behind another van to se what movie they're watching?'

"... Have you passed?... Well, just let me move these five traffic violation tickets that you picked up, out of the way and I'll check your score."

Road Work Ahead

Road-kill rage.

NO Flippin' The Bird! Next 27 miles.