Road Trip Navigator T-Shirts

Old Cheltem, Cheltem, New Cheltem, New Improved Cheltem.

"We should have an easy trip - I've just phoned in to the local radio travel line an told them traffic is at a stand-still here!"

"Just once, would it kill you to pull over and ask for directions?"

'Dad, I know we're on vacation, but Rags needs to go to the vet.'

The mathematician and his son...

Thru versus Through Traffic

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

The Fast Lane.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Kardiff.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Yes, That Was The Exit

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

YONDER...next 347 miles.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

Mark's new invention worked great for long car rides. '...And then she said,and then I said, and then she said to me...'

"Going to the beach...together as a family! That's what memories are made of! When we get back from this trip, you'll remember it fondly."

Day one, post grad

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

Id/Ego/Superego.

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

Filling up.