Road-crossing Humorist Gifts

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Bob's Driving School.

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'One carry-on!'

"Admit it, you're lost!"