Rival Fan Companion Gifts

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

The Alpha Seltzer

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Tic-tac-toe

"Just being proactive."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Fight on the top

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I hate snowboarders!'

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

"I still hate you."

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

David Anderson vs. Goliath

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

'Friends are important...but you need enemies to keep your edge.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."

Guide dog reading paper to blind man.