Risky Punter Pillows

Three Unwise Men

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

I think you're ace

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Fan-Centric Stadium

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

Hamlet.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Mobile Holmes.

A Good Bet.

Surfin' the web.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

School. I can't believe I didn't get the job teaching math! Maybe you shouldn't have said you'd give one hundred and ten percent!

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

Bureau of statistics and probability

"Heel."

Gambler And Umpire