Punter With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

A Good Bet.

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

World Cup Fever

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

'What do you mean I used to be cute?'

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Mobile Holmes.

Surfin' the web.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'