Rink Rat Gifts

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Hang on a minute! This is not for us: he's bought himself a pet rat!"

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'My old man always used to say we eventually get the face we deserve. I wish I'd listened to him!'

Smiling rat.

The ultimate in rodent paradise.

Fishing for rats.

Complaints (just kidding).

Exercise rat race

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

GP pay award wheel.

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

"Play Misty for me."

'Hello, 911?'

'I'm having a day when I can't catch up!'

Late businessman running with mobile phone and briefcase.

"Someday I'll leave this all behind and return to the wild."

Stop the world. I want to get off again.

"Pawn to King Four."

"You never see a fish down here. I wonder if they know something we don't know."

'We're researching 'road rage'.'

Map for directions on a hockey rink.

'Is this irony or coincidence?'