Rink Rat T-Shirts

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

I think we may have genetically overmodified the tomatoes.

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"Hang on a minute! This is not for us: he's bought himself a pet rat!"

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

'My old man always used to say we eventually get the face we deserve. I wish I'd listened to him!'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

Smiling rat.

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Fishing for rats.

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

Exercise rat race

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

Complaints (just kidding).

The ultimate in rodent paradise.

GP pay award wheel.

'Hello, 911?'

"Play Misty for me."

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

'I'm having a day when I can't catch up!'

Late businessman running with mobile phone and briefcase.

"Someday I'll leave this all behind and return to the wild."

"Pawn to King Four."

Stop the world. I want to get off again.

"You never see a fish down here. I wonder if they know something we don't know."

'We're researching 'road rage'.'

Map for directions on a hockey rink.