Rink Ruler T-Shirts

Skate! Skate! Skate!

I love my Timpani

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Malcolm Sargent

"He's my school project for science class."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

A politician's dream come true...

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'Interactive TV news.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"I am a control freak."

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Trust no one."

"Sky, sir?"

'Hello, 911?'

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

'Big shots deserve big offices.'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

Map for directions on a hockey rink.

'Perhaps it's time to take this relationship to the next level.' 'I'm not sharing the remote.'

'What do you mean it's deep? It's not even up to my ankles.'

"Until you've abused it, you've never really tasted power."

Remote controlled jester.

"OK! OK! I get the message! Your recliner, not mine!"