Techy Ruler T-Shirts

"Everywhere the Wi-Fi reaches is our kingdom."

The Googler

I love my Timpani

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Malcolm Sargent

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

A politician's dream come true...

'Interactive TV news.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"God, I love this show!"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Why, this is fit for me!"

Man and dog playing a car simulation. The dog has a fan to simulate his head out of the window.

End of world nigh!!!

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

"I am a control freak."

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Sky, sir?"

"Trust no one."

'Ignore the purple stain - that's just my Blackberry going off.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

'Big shots deserve big offices.'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

"It's a wireless mouse...filed with catnip!"

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'Perhaps it's time to take this relationship to the next level.' 'I'm not sharing the remote.'

'Your punishment is to cut and paste ‘I will not misbehave in class' 500 times on your tablet.'