Riff Realist Gifts

my boyfriend's a music producer...

Characters jumping out of a book.

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Eric Clapton.

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

World Production.

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Bathroom Fairy

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Musician plugged into amp.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Tony Iommi

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

My Musical Influences

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'We're reconciled-thanks to the Lottery rollover!'

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

'Your Dad phoned earlier and told me that this is how he wanted it fixed.'

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

'Love gets the credit, but money makes the world go 'round.'