Rideshare Giggler Pillows

"Where the hell is my Uber car?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

Clown God

'So much for your new Satnav!'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

'Whoops!'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Giddyup."

"Hey look, pretty soon Uber is going to have flying cab service,"

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Cracked Down Upon by Government? There's an App for That.

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"How much if I pedal?"

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

No Car Bar.

To make ends meet Santa becomes an Uber driver. Miami Beach, please!

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."