Gin Giggler Pillows

"Alice said the bottle had 'Drink Me' on the label but the only word I can see is Gin!"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Get on with it!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Fancy a pint?

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Moo! OOM!

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

2pm meet your Creator

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

I am one with stupid.

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Swinging through the jungle.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

'Whoops!'