Gliding Giggler Pillows

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

I am one with stupid.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Swinging through the jungle.

Black Hole Corks

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

The Big A** Theory