Gondola Giggler Pillows

Bad moments in skiing.

Summer in Italy

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"What are you in for?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'