Rideshare Satirist Pillows

Why did you cancel your Uber?

'So much for your new Satnav!'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

"How much if I pedal?"

No Car Bar.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

The Privatization of the MTA.

"Scuber?"

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

"I heard about your new job . . . congratulations!"

Road Work Ahead

It appears his GPS isn't working properly.

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

"Do you mean three hundred million dollars on top of what we already have here, or three hundred million dollars including what we already have here?"

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'